“I live in Polvo, which used to be a town and isn’t anymore. There’s no businesses for twenty miles except a barn you can pull up to, honk, and grab a twelve pack of Lone Star. That’s not to say it’s a forgotten place. People have lived in this valley for ten thousand years. To live here now is to be reminded of how we will all be swallowed up by time and dust. That’s what Polvo means. Dust. The desert is callous. Whoever gave this place its name realized that too.
I went to school for years to be a poet. I thought someday I would be an English professor. I would wear a leather-elbow jacket on some neo-Gothic campus and have lofty conversations about truth and beauty while quietly accumulating a pension. That changed when I was introduced to the great love of my life, the Big Bend.
I want to settle down here and die, and not too soon. I’ve always thought that settling down would mean a Big Bend man, a Big Bend house, and a Big Bend dog.
The Big Bend men—spittin’, cussin’, gun-totin’ loners of the mold Waylon & Willie warned of—come & go.
Years of overdraft fees, hand calluses, and a blown-out shoulder later, there’s a Big Bend house, but it doesn’t belong to me. Its roof is held down by a pair of tires. It’s a luxury I have a flush toilet, but it’s in an outhouse that gets so startlingly hot on 120-degree days I end up doing my business outside anyway. My cell phone doesn’t work here, so I have a landline only my boss calls.
At least I can say now I have the Big Bend dog. He’s not the mean-looking street pit I’d dreamed of, but I hold him sometimes and think about how similar we are. How our smallness betrays our toughness. How we both came out of the river and decided this was our place.
I don’t have a lot, but I have this place. I have the stars, the mountains and the big blue sky. I have the river and everything she has to teach me. I’m not from here, and it’s a long story how I ended up living in a ruin in a town on the border that’s so small it doesn’t technically exist. From the outside it looks busted, and it’s nothing fancy. But it works just fine.”